A message to the proper hijab and haram police

If you feel that proper hijab consists of black only, one uniform style, abayas only, no sense of personal or individual style, no pants etc. this might not be the place for you. If you think the sets I post draw too much attention to a woman or that makeup is haram or that wearing a thin coating of lip gloss is going to cause a man to abduct a woman and sexually assault her, your problems are a lot bigger than my fashion blog.

And please, spare me the nasiha (advice) reasoning. Believe me, I have heard arguments like yours over and over again. I understand them very well. You don’t think I receive countless emails and comments on a regular basis saying the same thing? The reality is you cannot force someone into adopting your point-of-view nor can you force them into compliance. (No compulsion in religion, right?)

Frankly, I find it a little rude and disrespectful for you to come onto on my blog for the sole purpose of dispensing your advice and admonishing me or other people. Again, this may not be the place for you. Have a good day or evening- As salaam alaikum!

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26 responses to “A message to the proper hijab and haram police

  1. honesly, i find your outfits to be very modest..i am new to this whole dressing modestly thing and I find this blog very helpful

  2. I LOVE how you said this. I make youtube videos & non-freakin-stop I get “advice” from people that is ALWAYS:
    1) incorrect
    2) not supported properly with quran or interpreted wrong
    3) rude, annoying, & condescending
    It just really drives you batty doesn’t it?

  3. WOW!! sorry that you are getting those comments. I had no idea people are actually that bold to do that. You are a strong person. Your fashions have really inspired me to get back into looking nice for myself and my husband. Each time i wear something that you inspired has my husband saying “Masha Allah you look NICE!!” so, at least you have people like me in your corner. Insha Allah you willl get more positive compliments and comments. May Allah reward you for your efforts. Thanks for everything.
    Salaam

  4. I’ve been following your posts for quite a while and really like them. We have very similar style and I find inspiration in the outfits you put together. Please keep up the great work!

  5. As-Salaamu Alaikum
    Thanks for your candidness in both this post and the video. Which I totally say thumbs up to!
    I get the question all the time especially when the weather is hot and uncomfortable to us all. “Ain’t U hot in all that stuff!” My response is that do you see me sweating?
    Like you said there can also give other responses depending upon the mood!
    Keep it rockin my Sista!

    • Walaikum salaam Shaheedah (I like your name, it’s also mine šŸ™‚ ),

      Thank you for your words of support and encouragement. I have been thinking about putting together a list of dumb questions I’ve been asked over the years. I am not sure if I want to do it as a video or if I am going to write up. Insha’allah we will see. Thanks again!

  6. I also want to say thank you all of you for understanding where I’m coming from. I have endured these comments, private messages and responses for years now. I just started feeling fed up.

    Stephanie, what is your youtube channel named?

  7. Oh my. No, hijab doesn’t consist of only black or no individuality, but I hope you don’t spread to people that makeup, on the other hand, is okay. What do you mean “a thin coating of lip gloss is going to cause a man to abduct a woman and sexually assault her”? What?! I could just as easily say, what, do you actually think women wearing jeans and T-shirts are going to be sexually assaulted? Why should they wear hijab? Aren’t men supposed to be the ones controlling themselves?

    I really don’t mean to hurt you in any way. But you can be just as beautiful, simple, colorful, stylish, and yourself, without the makeup and with the modesty. I’m not forcing anything on you, nor am I being rude or disrespectful. I just don’t want Muslim women to begin to interpret Islam their own different ways.

    Salam.

    • Zeinab, I think you’re missing the point here. There are other Muslimahs who do not share your interpretation of “proper hijab.” They may not see anything wrong with applying makeup. Whether they are wrong or right, they must come to this conclusion on their own. Neither you nor I can force someone to accept it and we shouldn’t try to. We cannot control what other people do. We can only control ourselves. We are all adults and will make our own choices. I have already acknowledged that I have heard the advice from sisters like yourself. You have done your part and that is all you can do.

      The other issue is this: how many times does someone need to come onto this blog (or another one for that matter) saying the same thing? I could see if there was a question asked about makeup or proper hijab or even a post inviting a discussion of it. However, to come on one of the sets and immediately begin criticizing and admonishing people is rather rude. The reality is if people are that opposed to what I am posting they don’t have to visit the blog.

  8. As-salaam,
    I read your blog, and I keep it up while I shop online…you got great taste. And your modest, no need to stress, a lot of people who talk wrongly are the same people doing wrong.

  9. Hear, hear! You said everything I ever wanted to, but far more eloquently.

    Btw, I really appreciate this blog. I’m missing the style gene and your suggestions really help šŸ™‚

    Please keep up the great work!

  10. Assalaamu Alaikum. i converted to Islam 3 years ago. I was lead to believe that I had to always look like i am in a funeral. I read the Surahs and Hadiths and learnt otherwise. Now i dress differently and always look at your blog for gorgeous clothes. u have been soooo helpful to me. thank u for your courage. Caribbean sister.

  11. Ameen! Well said sis, masha’Allah! Keep rockin it!! Don’t let the haters get to you. You know, I’ve often struggled with this myself. There is so much judgment amongst sisters, we are constantly being told what to do, what not to do, or what to wear or not to wear or whatever, from men, from scholars, and especially from other women – we always gotta judge each other and put each other in our “place.” Seems to come from a place of self-righteous arrogance – otherwise why would someone care *so much* about what another human being is doing?? No matter what you do, it’s not going to be good enough for some people and someone somewhere is not going to like it. Hijab is no one else’s business except between a woman and her Creator. I like what you’ve said here. I love your sets, I find them inspirational and have used a lot of your ideas and now I get compliments all the time on my dress and have even had people ask me to be their personal shopper! (I’m serious, and I mean more than one person, and they aren’t even Muslim!) Keep it up, you’ve handled it well I think. Best of luck and jazak Allah khair sis. šŸ™‚

  12. ITS NOT JUST YOUR BLOG SISTER! ITS ON FACEBOOK AND YOUTUBE TOO!! THESE SELF RIGHTEOUS DISGUSTING TREASH WHO COME AND MESSAGE YOU AND PREACH TO YOU, WHEN IN REALITY…THEYRE SINNING UP A STORM! THERE WAS AN IDIOT WHO MESSAGED ME WITH HIS “SISTER, PLEASE DONT POST PICS OF YOURSEL FOR EVERYONE TO SEE, ITS MY DUTY TO INFORM YOU” But I gave him a response that shut him up for GOOD! his profile had women in bikinis!!!! but her comes to me?? these people do not have good intentions! even if they claim they do..they dont! they want to find fault in others where there isnt any! even though Allah(Swt) will find fault in you if you try to find faults in everyone you see! people see others as a mirror of themselves! if im a good person, i see others in a good light, but if i have many things to hide..Im gonna be paranoid and i will see the worse in everyone! GREAT BLOG SISTER! MASHALLAH YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND YOU ARE HELPING OTHER MUSLIMAHS! these haters will always have soemthing to say, if its not enough non muslims target muslims to mock…we have “muslims” going around policing peeople like its their divine call.

  13. Haram Police = Those people should know how to properly convey a message (if you have a ligit message on the first place) I saw this video explaining about the same.

  14. salaam sister
    i would like to point something out, in my own personal experiance alot of young women avoid the hijaab and modest dress because they find it old fashioned and boring. this sight however is proof that hijaab and modesty can be stylish and fun. you are infact helping to bring more sisters to the right path, may ALLAH SWT be pleased with u. as for small issues such as lipgloss and makeup, i happen to like beautifying myself, my husband appreaciates it.if its wrong ALLAH SWT will judge me for it, but as with everything ur intentions count. as muslimahs we are expected to b modest in our dress, no were have i ever noted black to be the official colour of islam.InshaALLAH may we all be rightly guided and stop focussing on petty issues and start looking at the bigger 1s such as wearing that hijaab proudly, in todays day and age of islamaphobia i feel its accomplishment to do just that. let us seek to create unity instead of segregation over pettyness.ALLAH SWT will judge us all 1 day let us not waste our time judging each other.

  15. Salam Walaikum,
    I think its fine for people to have differing opinions, but to verbally abuse someone because of a difference in opinion when is wrong. I think your website is wonderful and gives some wonderful ideas of how to work with clothing available in the US and still stay in hijab. I am currently not in hijab, but want to be, and it is rigid opinions of some people ( including some of relatives) that has discouraged me. I personally do not do my nails, wear makeup ( besides lip balm and moisturizers) or many other things, but I still think you can wear nice MODEST things that flatter you without showing your lovely female shape. Many muslims are so extreme on both ends, I see girls every day on the bus showing off their busts, in hip huggin jeans and heavily madeup, also other that wear black abayas only. What you wear doesn’t make you are break you, but if you are going to be in hijab do it right. Dress modestly to your shape, obviously some outfits are better for some shapes, and people should dress accordingly. PS. I LOVE YOUR BLOG/

  16. You know, people can disagree with my comment and that’s fine, but I have come to the conclusion that those of us in the West, or that live in moderate or secular societies, approach Islam differently than those in more conservative Islamic countries. I am not saying we have different beliefs, because we all have the same foundation, the Quran, Sunnah, the five tenets of our faith. My sister-in-law, who is Egyptian and has always lived in Egypt, and I would say is rather pious, wears make-up and sometimes a clear lip gloss. She also plucks her eyebrows and wears colorful hijabs, just as many young women in Egypt do. Most of the time when I hear about people “bashing” others, it is usually East vs. West, or converts (reverts) who have taken to a strict way of dressing and who sometimes seem a bit over zealous. I think these “bashers” are also the minority, most likely the type of person who is “always right.” I think we all know these kinds of people. This is just my opinion, and I am not saying this applies to everyone. There are always exceptions.

  17. I do not practice Islam, but I completely understand where you come from. In most faiths, it is considered a sin to condemn others based on personal interpretation of scripture/holy writings. I love what you are doing here, because the fashions are beautiful and tasteful. And for those who don’t agree on certain points, they should just take what they can use and leave the rest. There’s no need to bash you because they happen to disagree with your interpretation.

  18. Salam, i just came across ur blog and i must say i love u and ur blog, because u have addressed the issue plaguing most muslim sistas who want to be chic and modest at the sam time. U dont have to be drab looking all in the name of religion, a splash of color wont hurt as long as one is properly covered. thank u so much for this blog. jazakallahu.

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